DON’T LET ME LOSE MY WAY LORD! THE ULTIMATE CHRISTIAN PRAYER

 

 One of my greatest fears has been that I will lose my way as a Christian and that I will not be able to get out of that bottomless pit that I will have single-handedly put myself in. See my favourite scripture has always been: -

 'Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to him, “King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver usc from Your Majesty’s hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.” Daniel 3:16-18 (NIV)

 

 Also I love this song: -  

 Also Jeremy Camp sang: -  

 Then life happens and the challenges come, you are fresh out of campus with no job prospects, you are that girl, virgin, loves the Lord and no husband prospects, sickness comes, challenges in the work place, you are in a situation where you really cannot see and even Hebrews chapter one makes no sense, you know ‘Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.’ Then applying the Bible and reality takes different sides and you are caught in the middle. What if doing the right thing means going to bed hungry. What if that husband or wife does not come up? What if we are not rescued and we are reduced to tears and suffering. When hopeless and desperation sets in and you really cannot see. What if you fail in your exams despite really studying hard. Then, the giant and the waves that Casting Crowns sing about becomes real and they keep reminding you of the times you have tried and failed and all the times God did not come through for you and it breaks your heart in pieces.

A couple of years ago I wrote this in my journal: - 

' But I thought He did not care, I was suffering, my heart was in shreds, and I was disappointed in God and I wanted to walk away. Did He enjoy seeing me suffering.' 

 Also I wrote:-

 '..., I was dismayed, I was disappointed because I loved Him so much and I thought He had failed me. When I failed to get that ‘A’ in my KCSE, my heart was quiet in disbelief, my heart was downcast, I didn’t even pray or say thank you.' 

 The before I got a job I wrote: - 

 Days when I feel this Finally the fact that I am home is sinking really deeply and the fact that I have no job my dreams still are still where they were, unaccomplished. It’s painful, at times I do wish I wasn’t a dreamer...

 And you wonder what the Bible meant when it says 'no temptation that comes your way, that is not common to man', because you feel like you have been tempted beyond your strength and it is more than you can endure. Then you find yourself slipping and going further and further from the truth and God, and not because you do not love God but because you do not trust His will for your life and there are things that you want to accomplish. 

I have had those dark moments when I feel like I am deliberately choose to find my own path and then I get to that point when my heart sings out to God: - 

 'Hold on to me, 

take all of me 

Don't let me lose my way, 

hold on to me.' 

 For KING & COUNTRY - Busted Heart (Hold On To Me) Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

Because: - 

I'm screaming out Your name 

Don't let me fall on my face 

I've got a busted heart I'm in need of a change, yeah,

 I'm desperate for grace.' 

For KING & COUNTRY - Busted Heart (Hold On To Me) Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

 At this point I wonder if God will really find me through the thick smoke.   

Then:-

  

 And I know I wander a lot and I am prone to leave this Lord that I really love because I am caught up in my own evil ways. And then the most beautiful thing happens and I realize that its only in brokenness I can see that all that I have been going through is God’s will for me and that is the only place I can go and throw my feeble prayers and that He loves me at my worse and that He loves me anyway and its like nothing in life that I have ever known and at that point, my relationship with the Lord that I love is restored and I am back to being in love, only this time, the love burns stronger. 

 See I wrote this in late March 2011: - “I feel the hate is spitting vapours on my dream but I still believe.” But I know I will get there. But I need to relax so badly and stop worrying. It STRESSING ME OUT SO BADLY. But I believe. I plan to have a job within the next two weeks. Watch this space."

 A couple of weeks later I was on a contract job in the Museum, later on I was a graduate attachee that was in May, in June I was working for government. Funny thing when I wrote those words, I did not fully mean what I was writing. 

 At times these challenges have been for my glory, the reason God did not want me to date those guys is because He knew I would be miserable, or he knew that man did not love me and that is why he allowed him walked away. Though I did wish I could have believed without seeing because its amazing and its at that point when you experience peace that surpasses all understanding. Still when I am in the presence of God, I get the power to let go of everything and everyone that does not add value to my life and I am happy and at peace and stand for everything that I believe in. That restoration of faith makes me feel high like I can fly and I feel loved by God.

 Still my prayer is ‘hold on to me Lord, please don’t let me lose my way.’ Because along the way, I know I will still need it. 

Images: Google

IN THE 21ST CENTURY, HOW WILL THEY KNOW CHRIST?

Young believers into Christianity are in for a tough ride. How will they find Christ in all the prosperity gospel and individuality in church. A young woman walks into church, she is nervous. Its her first time in church after many years of not going to church. She looks around, no one notices she is new, including the ushers. She is desperate for Christ, she is at the end of the rope, if she does not find Christ, that’s it. There is nothing left to live for. 

Her husband does not love her. He is sleeping around, in fact he has children with several different women. Her dreams are dead, not that she ever would have made it. See, she dropped out of school at 16 years and got married, but the man who promised her heaven and earth gave her hell instead. She needs meaning in her life. Perfect definition of desperation.

When the visitors are asked to stand, she summons her strengths gets up and declares ‘I want to get saved.’ The pastor, one of those ‘Armani suit’ kind of pastor’s in a poor village where the church is one of the few buildings with electricity beckons her forward, her heart pounds, everyone is ululating, heaven is welcoming a new angel. She cries tears of joy and relief, is she finally home? The pastor prays fervently for the lost soul now found, before pushing her violently to the ground as he begins to pray in tongues. She starts crying, not from the pain of her head but of finding hope at last, finally she feels peace. She gets up. She feels different as she manages to smile, the first in ten years.

 ‘Now God has saved you, you must offer an offering, pleasant to the Lord.’ The smiles disappears, she has no money apart from the one thousand five hundred shillings her husband gave her for rent, she smiles when she remembers the fifty shillings  for the children's supper, as she takes it out and usher holds her hand to stop her as the mighty man of God continues.

‘The Bible says David offered a burnt sacrifice to the Lord and it was pleasant to him.’ He turns and looks at her in the eye. ‘Woman thou art loosed! Your husband will call you blessed, the Lord will multiply the works of your hands. Give and it will come back to you!’ he roared to her face. Her heart pumping harder than usual, she dug deeper and took out the one thousand five hundred shillings. The congregants start shouting and praising as the pastor shouts ‘more! More!’ She gives him all the money that she has,  when she gets home her husband rains blows on her, her children sleep hungry that night

 while the pastor rides home in his 4 wheel drive carrying the one kg of meat he has just bought for his family. In the midst of the tears she smiles, the man of God assured her that the curse had been lifted, she is hopeful. But she will never know Christ, will she? She would know the Pastor better when he touched her breasts, or when he slept with her to cleanse, but would she know Christ?

Presently it is never about Christ or the power of His cross, it about how some people can make money quickly at the expense of the man hoping to feed his family, or the young unmarried woman who the pastor has led to believe that she is cursed and that is why she is not married. Even in the mainstream churches, its about powerful cliques of men and women, who will tolerate their own sins and that of their children while strongly condemning others. These church men and women will kill not for Jesus but for their own beliefs, they visit witch doctors to be assured of success. They will stand for what is wrong because they have the power. Yet they pray the loudest any given Sunday.

Any given Sunday, it’s never about Christ it’s about the number church projects that you need to contribute to, not that anyone will ever account for the millions raised every month. There are people who need to know Christ, they are desperate to know Him, they are ready to sell their souls to know Him. Sadly they are the perfect victims for prosperity gospel. The gospel nowadays is about giving and waiting to receive back. Its not about that! The many times God really blesses us is when we are at our worst, when we have nothing to give back. If we are able to repay God for His many blessings, that would make us equal to God, and that would mean this gospel is not for the poor but for those able to buy the blessings of God. Romans says that God demonstrates His love for us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. We forget to be like the Bereans, they studied scripture daily to see if what was preached to them was true. If we did, we would know that offerings and tithes were meant yes for the priest but also for the poor. 

If only the scales could be lifted from our eyes just like Paul says in 2nd Corinthians that with unveiled faces..., then we would know that there is more to Christianity than prosperity. Let’s not be foolish like the Galatians and not fail to question what is wrong. I am glad I became a Christian a long time ago, otherwise if I did not know God then, I do not know how I would know Him at all.