DON’T LET ME LOSE MY WAY LORD! THE ULTIMATE CHRISTIAN PRAYER

 

 One of my greatest fears has been that I will lose my way as a Christian and that I will not be able to get out of that bottomless pit that I will have single-handedly put myself in. See my favourite scripture has always been: -

 'Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to him, “King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver usc from Your Majesty’s hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.” Daniel 3:16-18 (NIV)

 

 Also I love this song: -  

 Also Jeremy Camp sang: -  

 Then life happens and the challenges come, you are fresh out of campus with no job prospects, you are that girl, virgin, loves the Lord and no husband prospects, sickness comes, challenges in the work place, you are in a situation where you really cannot see and even Hebrews chapter one makes no sense, you know ‘Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.’ Then applying the Bible and reality takes different sides and you are caught in the middle. What if doing the right thing means going to bed hungry. What if that husband or wife does not come up? What if we are not rescued and we are reduced to tears and suffering. When hopeless and desperation sets in and you really cannot see. What if you fail in your exams despite really studying hard. Then, the giant and the waves that Casting Crowns sing about becomes real and they keep reminding you of the times you have tried and failed and all the times God did not come through for you and it breaks your heart in pieces.

A couple of years ago I wrote this in my journal: - 

' But I thought He did not care, I was suffering, my heart was in shreds, and I was disappointed in God and I wanted to walk away. Did He enjoy seeing me suffering.' 

 Also I wrote:-

 '..., I was dismayed, I was disappointed because I loved Him so much and I thought He had failed me. When I failed to get that ‘A’ in my KCSE, my heart was quiet in disbelief, my heart was downcast, I didn’t even pray or say thank you.' 

 The before I got a job I wrote: - 

 Days when I feel this Finally the fact that I am home is sinking really deeply and the fact that I have no job my dreams still are still where they were, unaccomplished. It’s painful, at times I do wish I wasn’t a dreamer...

 And you wonder what the Bible meant when it says 'no temptation that comes your way, that is not common to man', because you feel like you have been tempted beyond your strength and it is more than you can endure. Then you find yourself slipping and going further and further from the truth and God, and not because you do not love God but because you do not trust His will for your life and there are things that you want to accomplish. 

I have had those dark moments when I feel like I am deliberately choose to find my own path and then I get to that point when my heart sings out to God: - 

 'Hold on to me, 

take all of me 

Don't let me lose my way, 

hold on to me.' 

 For KING & COUNTRY - Busted Heart (Hold On To Me) Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

Because: - 

I'm screaming out Your name 

Don't let me fall on my face 

I've got a busted heart I'm in need of a change, yeah,

 I'm desperate for grace.' 

For KING & COUNTRY - Busted Heart (Hold On To Me) Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

 At this point I wonder if God will really find me through the thick smoke.   

Then:-

  

 And I know I wander a lot and I am prone to leave this Lord that I really love because I am caught up in my own evil ways. And then the most beautiful thing happens and I realize that its only in brokenness I can see that all that I have been going through is God’s will for me and that is the only place I can go and throw my feeble prayers and that He loves me at my worse and that He loves me anyway and its like nothing in life that I have ever known and at that point, my relationship with the Lord that I love is restored and I am back to being in love, only this time, the love burns stronger. 

 See I wrote this in late March 2011: - “I feel the hate is spitting vapours on my dream but I still believe.” But I know I will get there. But I need to relax so badly and stop worrying. It STRESSING ME OUT SO BADLY. But I believe. I plan to have a job within the next two weeks. Watch this space."

 A couple of weeks later I was on a contract job in the Museum, later on I was a graduate attachee that was in May, in June I was working for government. Funny thing when I wrote those words, I did not fully mean what I was writing. 

 At times these challenges have been for my glory, the reason God did not want me to date those guys is because He knew I would be miserable, or he knew that man did not love me and that is why he allowed him walked away. Though I did wish I could have believed without seeing because its amazing and its at that point when you experience peace that surpasses all understanding. Still when I am in the presence of God, I get the power to let go of everything and everyone that does not add value to my life and I am happy and at peace and stand for everything that I believe in. That restoration of faith makes me feel high like I can fly and I feel loved by God.

 Still my prayer is ‘hold on to me Lord, please don’t let me lose my way.’ Because along the way, I know I will still need it. 

Images: Google